Snow

Background: The St Louis area experienced a really shitty snow storm the past few days. The roads every where are garbage, this even means major highways. On top of this i didn't sleep at all the night before so I'm quite tired.

I left my job yesterday around 6PM last night. A drive that is supposed to take 20-30 minutes took me over an hour to get home. When I finally did get home, I let my ferrets out to play, filled their bowl, and turned on a movie while I laid on the couch.

I was watching the Thomas Crown Affair (If you haven't seen it, I recommend you do). I was really comfortable, and starting to get a little dozy. Just then my phone rang. It was my buddy Seth.

"Yo man? What's going on?"
"Not much, just sitting on the couch."
"I'm over at Alex's, Just seeing what your doing."
In the background I could hear Alex, Mikey, and Chris (their brothers fyi). for some reason I asked,"Hey man can you ask Alex if I can come over?" I don't know why I said this, because I really would've rather slept. Alex gave his blessings to come over, but not for too long.
"Hey man I don't think we can stay for too long, because Alex and his family are gonna eat dinner and stuff. Are you hungry or anything because I'm starving?"
"No man I'm not hungry, I just ate."
"Shit, well do you wanna come get me and go somewhere and hangout?"
"Yeah sure man."
To cut it short I got in my car to head on over.

Just backing out of my driveway, I knew this was a bad idea. It's snowing allot still and I knew the roads were shitty, but I still went on over. Well I get less than a forth of the mile away from Alex's and my car cannot get up this hill. I was pissed. I tried various tricks to get up this hill and I just couldn't hack it. So i call up Seth and tell him That I'm gonna park in the parking lot of a convenience store, so he can meet me there. As I pull into this parking lot i remember thinking "Watch me get stuck in this shit." As I'm waiting for Seth I try maneuvering around. As I predicted earlier, I was stuck. So Seth pushes me onto the main strip of road, he gets in and we head toward HWY 94.

Well to get onto 94 you have to get up this hill. Since my car has shitty tires, I couldn't get up the hill. So I reverse, trying to get back into that convenience store parking lot. The plan was to ditch the car and walk over to Alex's until the shit blows over, and the roads are clean. Well in a attempt to get into the parking lot, I get stuck at the entrance. Seth and I are fucked again, and this time properly fucked, because I had no traction at all. A Hwy. Dept Snow plow was going by and he saw us, so he came over to help. He dumped a shit ton of salt in front of my car to melt the snow, and so the salt can increase my traction. Well after 10 minutes we're free. We thank him and we try again to get into the lot, and we Succeed.

The owner of the convenience store came out while Seth was on the phone with his mom. I got out and asked if I could leave my car here for the night. He asked that I move it in a spot next to his car. So I get back in put it in reverse, and I'm fuckin stuck again. Seth gets out and tries pushing me, well in the process of this somehow I maneuver into a hidden ditch that is a feature of this parking lot. My front right tire is in, and I cant get it out.

My car currently is in a ditch, and I'm pissed, at the layout of this parking lot. If i just stayed at home none of this shit would happen. Well after a few attempts we gave up and walked over to Alex's house. Alex let us in, and we informed the household of out dilemma. Alex's dad was very confident that he could get me out. Seth and I were doubtful. So we snow suited up. Alex, his dad, Seth, and I all walk on over to this convinced store. While Alex's dad is figuring out a game plan Alex, Seth and I see 2 guys who dressed vaguely like ninjas approaching us. Well those two guys were Mickey, and Chris (Alex's brothers). Alex's dad commandeers my car keys and instructs is to push the car, while he steps on the gas. Well after 4 attempts everyone except Alex's dad, is hopeless.

We then has a 15 minute discussion which during Alex hugs his father and says "C'mon dad give me a hug. Real men hug with their penis facing each other all the time. There is nothing more manly then two thrusting penis's exchanging a hug. Why don't you love me." We all watched and laughed as they hugged. Chris drew a giant penis in the parking lot that was spewing cum. Alex's dad had a epiphany, while we were being jackasses. I was to drive the car while they pushed. Well this plan worked and my car is finally out of the ditch. So we push it into the spot we were told to park. After completing this mission, Alex's dad took off for the house, Chris and Mikey ran for the woods (I later find out that they were doing some sweet kung fu on each other) and The rest of us walk into the convenience store to get food. On the walk back to the house, a car approached us. Seth and I move over, but Alex stayed. As the car got closer Alex did a 3 ninja rolls toward us. The driver of that car looked at Alex like an Idiot while Seth and I laughed quite hard. The ninja roll incident was the highlight of my shitty ass night.