My favorite conversation to walk in on with new couples is when the girlfriend asks her newly acquired boyfriend if he has ever watched porn. The conversation typically goes like this:
Scene: Couple is watching Comedy Central (some stand up special) and a Girls Gone Wild commercial comes on.
Girl: "I hate these commercials."
Commercial: "Are you ready to see these young college girls bare it all..."
Guy: "Me too. It's annoying."
Commercial: "Girls Gone Wild WOOOO!"
Girl: "If I asked you a question, would you answer it honestly?"
Commercial: "As an added bonus..."
Guy: "Yeah? Why wouldn't I?"
Commercial: "You'll also receive Girls Gone Wild..."
Girl: "Alright then, have you ever watched porn?"
Commercial: "Call now, and receive free shipping!"
Guy: "No, maybe like once or twice but that's it." <<< He's LYING!!!!
Girl: "I was just curious."
Scene: Penis enhancement commercial starts.
End Scene.
Of course he has watched porn dummy! More than at least 30 times! No guy would ever admit watching porn, or even having masturbated to it! It's just not gonna happen.
Every guy has gone through a porn phase. I'm sure there was a specific genre he liked as well. Using my friends and I as examples: Asian, Latina, Large Breasted, and Blondes. It's just the plain ugly truth.
Questions you may want answered:
Is watching porn kind of sad? Yes.
Are we ashamed of admitting it? Yes.
We do like it? Yes.
Do we watch it everyday? Some, not all of us.
Can we break the habit? Most scientists believe it could be possible.
Am I watching porn right now as I'm writing this? No.
Would I if I wasn't writing this? No, I don't have the time.
Why do we enjoy porn? We're horny ALL THE TIME!
How can a guy keep his mind distracted from the urge to watch porn? Well, he can take up a hobby. I for instance enjoy learning about cars, researching stocks, and reading up on current events. Please note that a girlfriend could also qualify as a hobby.
If you don't want your guy to watch that "filth" I would suggest that you have sex with him on a daily basis. I really don't see another way around it. Failure to do so will drive him back to the problem... it's like dealing with a drug addict.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The World Goes Round
My favorite type of drunkenness is the stage between tipsy and drunk. I enjoy this particular stage the most because when you lay down, or close your eyes, it feels like your spinning.
Most people don't like that feeling at all, but I do. I actually find it to be very relaxing. It almost feels like your being rocked to sleep. That evening when I do finally go to sleep, I am out for ten hours or more. I wake up feeling refreshed, and typically not hungover.
The reason why I don't wake up hungover is because I always drink water while drinking to offset the hangover. Not drinking water would be a rookie mistake.
Back to the subject at hand...
At the spinning stage I also tend to have more fun. Apples to Apples gets more interesting, conversations with people who I can't normally stand become tolerable, at this stage I just don't give a fuck. I am more chill than a five year old on Adderall.
The balancing act of reaching this stage is more difficult... drink too much and you throw up, not enough and you lose interest in drinking all together. All the pieces of the puzzle have to come together if I am to get to this stage (mood, environment, beverages, people, games, conversations, etc). Without it, it's just not even worth killing brain cells.
Most people don't like that feeling at all, but I do. I actually find it to be very relaxing. It almost feels like your being rocked to sleep. That evening when I do finally go to sleep, I am out for ten hours or more. I wake up feeling refreshed, and typically not hungover.
The reason why I don't wake up hungover is because I always drink water while drinking to offset the hangover. Not drinking water would be a rookie mistake.
Back to the subject at hand...
At the spinning stage I also tend to have more fun. Apples to Apples gets more interesting, conversations with people who I can't normally stand become tolerable, at this stage I just don't give a fuck. I am more chill than a five year old on Adderall.
The balancing act of reaching this stage is more difficult... drink too much and you throw up, not enough and you lose interest in drinking all together. All the pieces of the puzzle have to come together if I am to get to this stage (mood, environment, beverages, people, games, conversations, etc). Without it, it's just not even worth killing brain cells.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Window of Opportunity
Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night (water, pee, fight the evil monkey in your closet etc.) and then struggle to fall back asleep? As this blog will explain, you may have missed your window of opportunity.
I have learned since becoming a college student that sleep is an extremely valuable thing. On average I probably only sleep 3-5 hours a night on a weekday. The weekend is where I catch up... I'm slightly off topic.
If you wake up mid-sleep in the middle of the night; I have noticed many clues which have helped me figure out if, I won't fall back asleep.
1) I woke up and didn't feel groggy or tired.
2) I started thinking about things I have to do.
3) I'm excited about something that will/could happen tomorrow.
4) My eyes didn't feel heavy.
5) Comfort (sleeping position, hot, cold)
6) Pain
Those are just the ones I could think of as of right now.
When I fail to go back to sleep I lay there pissed off. At that point I know I should be slightly productive and do some homework or read but I'm like, "Fuck it, I'm sure I'll fall back asleep." Two hours later I manage to fall asleep, and then I'm woken up by my alarm. FUCK.
The window of opportunity is frustrating.
I have learned since becoming a college student that sleep is an extremely valuable thing. On average I probably only sleep 3-5 hours a night on a weekday. The weekend is where I catch up... I'm slightly off topic.
If you wake up mid-sleep in the middle of the night; I have noticed many clues which have helped me figure out if, I won't fall back asleep.
1) I woke up and didn't feel groggy or tired.
2) I started thinking about things I have to do.
3) I'm excited about something that will/could happen tomorrow.
4) My eyes didn't feel heavy.
5) Comfort (sleeping position, hot, cold)
6) Pain
Those are just the ones I could think of as of right now.
When I fail to go back to sleep I lay there pissed off. At that point I know I should be slightly productive and do some homework or read but I'm like, "Fuck it, I'm sure I'll fall back asleep." Two hours later I manage to fall asleep, and then I'm woken up by my alarm. FUCK.
The window of opportunity is frustrating.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Gingers
I seriously want to hook up with an attractive red head. I have made this into a goal for this year. I don't care if gingers are soulless (refer to video), I still want to hook up with one. It's so rare to meet a hot red head, I will make this my new years resolution.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Leauge of her own
I was over at Dr. Yadava's house tonight when he threw a very good question at me. What was it about Ellen that I would've picked up and moved halfway across the country for.
I think it came down to how she saw through me. Ellen saw through the bullshit and got to know me for who I really am. I had a huge weakness for her. There was definitely something about her that drew me to her. She had this charm, wit, and drive that separated her from the rest of the girls that I typically date.
She was in her own league, and I felt like she was too good for me. I actually told her that before. Ellen was unlike any girl who I had ever dated, had feelings for. She was strong willed, and her ability to argue, and stand up for her self was actually a huge turn on for me.
Not many guys can deal with a girl that can overwhelmingly crush them in a argument, but with Ellen I was really drawn to her for that. I loved that about her. Even though I'd got annoyed with her arguing over small things, I still respected her for it. Ellen crushed me in arguments, her ability to think critically destroyed me. I lack the skill to see beyond the moment much like most guys, that is one area I hoped to improve on with her. She was way smarter than me, beautiful, and proving herself to be a formidable opponent.
I enjoyed the challenge with Ellen, she was a complex girl that pushed me all the time. She wasn't afraid to point out my weaknesses. She was in a league of her own.
I think it came down to how she saw through me. Ellen saw through the bullshit and got to know me for who I really am. I had a huge weakness for her. There was definitely something about her that drew me to her. She had this charm, wit, and drive that separated her from the rest of the girls that I typically date.
She was in her own league, and I felt like she was too good for me. I actually told her that before. Ellen was unlike any girl who I had ever dated, had feelings for. She was strong willed, and her ability to argue, and stand up for her self was actually a huge turn on for me.
Not many guys can deal with a girl that can overwhelmingly crush them in a argument, but with Ellen I was really drawn to her for that. I loved that about her. Even though I'd got annoyed with her arguing over small things, I still respected her for it. Ellen crushed me in arguments, her ability to think critically destroyed me. I lack the skill to see beyond the moment much like most guys, that is one area I hoped to improve on with her. She was way smarter than me, beautiful, and proving herself to be a formidable opponent.
I enjoyed the challenge with Ellen, she was a complex girl that pushed me all the time. She wasn't afraid to point out my weaknesses. She was in a league of her own.
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