BroMance

A bromance is, a inseparable bond that best (male) friends have.

Here is how you can tell if a bromance is in progress.

1. They missed each other
2. They say," I love you man."
3. They hug (not an ass-out hug either)
4. They have a mutual understanding
5. They're always together
6. They go out of the way to help each other out
7. They look gay together, but aren't
8. They plan adventures together
9. They compliment each other
10. They become excited to be in each others presence
11. They talk louder

When in doubt if a bromance is occurring think about this. Are they acting kind of gay, when they aren't? If so, a bromance is in progress.

Tequila

Everyone has a tequila story. I find it funny that most people get crazy after having this insane Mexican beverage. It'll only take a few shots, to really make an ass out of yourself. Most people know what the aftermath of tequila will hold... someone will either be naked, hugging a toilet, or passed out within minutes of taking shots. Everyone has a tequila story, and so do I...

I went to Mizzou for some fun a few months back. I wasn't planning on getting wasted. I brought with me some Bailey's which I mixed with coffee, and a forth of a bottle of Bacardi Grand Melon.

Well, I polished off the Bailey's and I was like," Damn! That tastes like ice cream!" Well I walk by these 3 guys slammin' Jose. And they suck me in...

"Hey slam this shit."-Guy
"Sorry, but I don't do tequila. It tastes like throw up." Me
"Dude your a pussy."-Guy
"Fine, I'll slam this shit." -Me

***3 Shots later.

Honestly, I don't even remember... All I can remember is that I tried kissing some girl, and got rejected. My buddy Ryan saved me by taking me back to the dorms. He set me on the ground in my buddy Chris's room. He gave me a very specific order.."GO TO BED!" Well I got on my cell phone... and got myself a booty call. I tried sneaking out a few minutes later and Ryan caught me. I tried again a little while longer, and I was home free to getting laid- Or so you would think. I stumbled into Steven McKenzies room, and I watched him play Fifa, while I talked to him about my booty call.

This is where my memory is gone.. this is filled in with the help of people who saw my drunk ass.

Someone found me in the hallway, sitting against the wall... I never made it to that girls room.

I woke up the next morning with this kid Uzo. My first thought was... WTF is going on. I also had the cell phone of that girl who I got rejected by- god knows how that happened.

What I learned was that I'm no tequila drinker. I still pretend like I am.

About Me

If there's one thing I love more than life itself, its my car, and women. I would pick my car over allot of things, but when it comes to women... I may have to think a bit harder.

You see, man and machine share an amazing bond. The man cares for the machine, he changes her oil, and waxes her exterior. The machine returns the favor by remaining faithful-running like it should. The only part that is missing in all of this is sex. Please let it be noted that if I could have sex with my car I would. I'd prefer not to have burns on my junk by shoving it in the exhaust.

Guys have a wired programing inside of them- spreading of the seed. I am obligated by this wired programing to include women in this post. Believe me, Elliot is hating this right now... I can tell. I fulfill by obligation to mother nature to spread my seed when the opportunity arises. When the "job" (refer to previous post) is done I return to my true love... Elliot.

Shock & Awe

I cannot explain to you how many time people see the shocker on my car and bust out laughing. Obviously its insanely awesome, and a good way to make other people notice you. Another thing comes to mind about this "hand gesture." I really do surprise people, or in other words I "Shock & Awe." Chris Reese can vouch for me (GO BLUES!).

Now don't all of you go stealing my ingenious way of leaving a mark. People know me. The car helps move that along, but regardless.... people know me.