Belonging

I can honestly say I don't really know my place in this country. I'm not exactly wanted by the Indians, nor do I feel completely accepted by westerners. I'm stuck in the middle. Now my friends who are reading this will be like,"But Ravi, we love you man." I know you guys do, but it's just how I've always felt.

I describe myself as a really tan white guy to my friends. I'm not very Indian at all. I could care less about Hinduism, I eat meat, and I criticize almost everything in my culture/family. I don't exactly feel accepted here either. Every now and then I get the "Go back to where you came from" remark thrown at me and it's really frustrating. This is my country, my home. I have no where else to go.

My family is very judgmental, and they are hesitant to change away from the old country. My parents push the family agenda on me... they fear what the family thinks of them. I am to marry a nice Indian girl who is a Patel (not a relative... just the same caste). They also push the religious crap on me, which makes me want to do it even less. I have a feeling that's why I'm becoming agnostic. To make matters even worse they really try making Chandni (my sister) and I play the family politics. I could give less than two shits what my so called family thinks of me. I'd rather not play the game and do what makes me happy.

My parents...
I love my parents don't get me wrong, but they just piss me off. I honestly think they care more about what "my family" thinks than my own happiness. Example: I really think they would rather see me marry a Indian girl and me be miserable than seeing me with someone who I really do like. Has anyone noticed this marriage issue continuously brought up in my blogs? It's a huge deal.

Me:
I am nothing like most Indian guys. I do not conform to my parents wishes. No Indian kid has the juevos that I do. I straight up tell them how it is. I date white girls (which they hate), I do what I want, and I honestly could care less about conforming for the family.

This move to California for me isn't just for school. I'm leaving some room for something that needs to happen...

In the end I'm not marrying an Indian girl. I've told myself this since I was 13 years old. This is going to tip everything over the edge. I will be shunned... temporarily. I can't see my own parents outcasting their own son for more than a few years. Maybe I should rephrase that... I can't see my dad outcasting me for more than a few years. My mom couldn't do it for more than a few months. My parents need to see how retarded they are. What's more important... their own son or the rest of my so called family.

My move to California is supposed to brace me for living on my own without their support. I know I can't rely on them.

This is why I don't feel connected to anything... I'm alone.

Friend Request

There have been plenty of times when I sign into Facebook and I see a friend request. This goes one of three ways.

A) I HATE THIS PERSON!
B) Who the fuck is this?
C) Approve

I will break down these situations as I respond to them.

(A) When someone who I don't like adds me as a friend... I simply deny them. Hopefully they can get the hint if they've attempted to add me as a friend 5 times before and I still haven't approved it. Funny because this one person still doesn't get it. I don't care if I hurt her feelings. Jordan Parker has added me as a friend over 5 times. On the 6th time I approved it over the simple fact that I was getting annoyed with the non-stop requests. Well her status updates really annoyed me. Seriously why does your status have to look like this "OuT wItH tHe GiRlZ" or just some random shit like "YoU dOnT kNoW wHaT yOu HaD. yOuLl ReGrEt It." So what do I do? I deleted her as a friend. Well since then, I have received another 3 or 4 requests from her. I denied like 3 and on the 4th one I got the following message. "It really upset me that you denied my friend request." Well I laughed and I was like... obviously you still don't get it because I just denied your request again. I'm such an ass.

(B) These ones are always annoying. Most of the time I've never even met this person. One time I got a request from this kid who lived in India. Obviously I deny these right away. Why the fuck does this person want me as a friend other than to increase the number of friends they have.

(C) Approve. It's that simple.

I routinely delete people who I don't talk to often. I mean why should I even be friends with them if I never even message them at all. I think it's just the right thing to do.

My rant is done.

I Disappear

I have this tendency of falling off the map, if you allow me too. I can drift away from friends quite quickly and do my own thing until

A) My friend(s) hunt me down and wanna hangout.
B) I want to hangout with them.
C) We run into a each other.

I honestly have no clue why I slip away. For some reason when I start getting busy I like being left alone. I look for distractions way too often and most of the time I end up getting behind... especially in school. Its not like I hate other people. I can just appreciate time alone.

Its always funny when I do regroup... Everyone is like "Ravi what the hell have you been doing." I'm always like "Oh nothing. Just work, and school." Usually that is the case. I take advantage of sleeping as well when I have extended down time. When I get busy I hardly ever sleep, during school months I'll average sleeping 5 hrs a night. Sometimes even no sleep at all.

I have a feeling that my absence will be even worse this semester. You see I want to really do good my last semester here in St Charles before I move to San Francisco. I wanna look good.

How to keep Ravi Patel from disappearing:
1) Call me at least once a week, or text to catch up, or ask random questions.
2) Invite me to parties.
3) Ask me to hangout.
4) Force me into a situation where I can't turn you down.

Now let me tell you something about myself... If I haven't slept enough I will more than likely make up excuses. Can you blame me though? I just think people should know this. Not like I didn't warn you.

Party Atmosphere

I've been to my share of parties. There is always this vibe you get when you walk in. The vibe is one of the following...

1. Holy crap... this is gonna suck. Why is everyone just sitting around doing nothing. The music isn't on, and everyone is watching comedy central... WTF! Even the damn dog looks bored.

2. Tonight is gonna be fuckin' awesome. The music is bumping, the people here are cool as hell, and I feel like everyone is in the mood to party. Holy shit someone brought sandwiches... this is awesome.

I think what makes a party is PLANNING. When you plan something a few days, or weeks in advance, everyone is in the mood to go crazy. You've set your mind in party mode. All you can think about is "I'm gonna have a great time tonight, and I'm gonna dance. I'm gonna beer pong, and pass out. I need to release and get out of control."

Short notice parties suck; because you have this high expectation to have a good time. Your trying too hard. You bring booze... you don't even wanna drink it. You didn't even want to go to this stupid party. You did anyway because you had nothing better to do.

Now you may ask... But Ravi I got invited to this party. Its kind of last minute. Well... ask if this party has been planned for a while or its short notice. Obviously based on that you can decide if you want to go or not. Or just go anyway if you didn't ask. If it sucks, make up a excuse to leave to go home and sleep.

I usually decide if I want to go to a party or not based on this... It's really good advice I think. For some reason though I still go short notice ones... for the off chance it could be a really good time... even though I doubt it.

Wifey

Future wife (who knows when it'll happen) has to be a perfect. I'm a little too picky according to friends, but I feel that with something like this you gotta be picky.

1. She has got to be into cars. This is a must, otherwise how else will I be able to have the cars that I want. I can't be getting yelled at for ordering a bigger turbo, or sending a car to the shop to get tuned. She will have to understand that cars are a passion, and that she should feel loved to be driving a bad ass car and not a station wagon.

2. The girl has got to be able to drive. I make fun of women driving all the time. It's true ask Alex Luttrell. I'm very biased when it comes to women driving. I have got to feel comfortable that she is driving, and feel safe with her behind the wheel.

3. The ass requirement must be there.

4. Non-Indian. I can't picture myself marrying an Indian girl like my parents want.

5. Has to be intelligent. You can rate this on various levels to be honest. If she has her own opinion and can back it up with facts... well that's perfect.

6. Low maintenance. As in, I won't get chewed out for not buying her tons of things. I don't mind going out or buying stuff its just really bitchy if you keep wanting more and you have nothing to offer back.

7. Got to be able to cook. I know I make it sound like "Woman make me a sandwich." I don't mean to sound that way, I'll cook too, but... you know, I want to eat deliciousness.

8. Laid back. I'm a very laid back person, I cant have a nut case that's all cracked out. I think having a mellow nature saves you from a lot of stress.

9. Compromising nature.

10. I like a girl who can hold her ground. I'll definitely call her out when she is being retarded, but if she can argue her point, I'll be content with what ever her reasoning is.

11. Obviously we gotta have many things in common.

12. How does she feel about my family probably not ever liking her?

13. Has to love traveling. I personally love long haul flights, and going to some place I've never been. She has to love exploring, and experiencing new things like that.

14. How does she feel about kids? Personally I want kids. I've decided on 3 little bastards.

15. Has to be able to get along with my sister.

16. Has to be able to think ahead. I like enjoying the present, but I feel like you got to be able to plan for the future as well.

17. I gotta have someone who is aware of what's going on around them. (Current World events, status of our country, economy, political b.s., etc.)

18. She has got to be motivated. I do procrastinate, but when I set a goal, holy shit do I accomplish it.

19. Must be able to drive manual.

20. Her family can't be crazier than mine. I can't handle more crazy.

Plan

I like having a plan. I like planning ahead, especially goals, things I want to do, Etc. And the more I plan, I tend to come to one thing and stop... KIDS.

I know tons of people freak out when you talk about kids. Not me. I honestly love kids. They're entertaining. And besides, I would like to continue the Patel blood line.

I have to get all my sports cars, and craziness out before then. Unfortunately you can't put your kid in the trunk of a car traveling at over 80mph. That was news to me too. I mean it isn't only the cars... What about traveling overseas for an extended period of time. Kids get in the way of that.

You can't enjoy life as much when you have kids. That child will change your entire life. It takes your complete dedication. I know I won't be as nuts when I have a kid. Why would I want to risk something happening to me... its not just all about me anymore at that point.

I'm going to be a bad ass dad, I've already decided on this. There is much that I won't do that my parents did. If you know anything about my parents... you would understand why.

The Indian Appeal

There is something about us Indian guys that gets the girls all crazy. I have an idea why this maybe the case...

1. They love the brown. My all time favorite pick up line always worked wonders. The UPS slogan "What can brown do for you" was such an ice breaker. I think girls get jealous of my year round tan. I've never had to worry about being pale in my life.

2. They are very much interested in the culture.

3. My family is really good looking.

4. I've always been told the following. And I don't really take offense to it but I just find it puzzling. "I'm going to use you for brown babies." Well first off, remind me not to ever use a condom handed over by you. They all have thought about it... and I know it to be true.

5. There are over a billion Indians out there. They know the odds are against them. I'm going to quote something from Russell Peters, "Sooner or later... We're gonna hump you."

6. To piss their racist parents off.

Of these 6 up here I think "1" is the best reason I can come up with. Its a really foreign to them. Obviously I'm not black, and I'm not white either. I'm just a really tan white guy.

Luckily I'm not banking on my Indian Appeal to get girls, because that would be a dumb idea. I feel like I'm in my own category. I am Ravi Patel.