I Want You.

This is a message I sent to my buddies regarding our summer Montreal trip. If you can't tell I'm joking that's your fault.



Bros!:

I have just been informed that I am to leave on a very important muff diving mission in July. I have been asked to take command, and lead a small expedition of sexually willing people to Montreal, Canada.

There we will drink, have sex between drinks, and have some more drinks.

We will be coming home with no money, smelling like strippers, and hopefully none of the condoms we left with.

I would like to extend an invitation to you.

I would also like you to make sure that the men carry on with the mission if I am to pass out. After I regain normal motor functions, I will retake command.

Please know that there are many risks involved with this trip. Such as, waking up stripped of clothing, and handcuffed to your hotel room bed. Some of the expedition members may be returning with STDs; because they will have been too stupid to listen to my cardinal rule, staying "strapped."

We will be taking girls with us as "stripper bait." Strippers love it when girls are in strip clubs, it's like catnip for strippers. The girls will also accompany us to balance out the penis:vagina ratio when our group goes into bars/clubs.

This mission is going to be a conquest. If you think you can't handle the copious amount of debauchery, I suggest you stay out. I don't need a weak link. I need a man's, man- a Trojan man.

My question remains... are you in?